Rock and Blues.

Even though R&B has died,
it's still alive in me.
I've been listening to a lot of David Tao recently, and love the way he can hit his high notes with lots of tone and depth.
but i can't.
and so, i will refrain from singing his songs, but not playing them.

really really tired these few days,
even now when i'm in front of my com, doing my i&r and blogging, i feel like closing my eyes.
sleeeeeepy.

damn, op dry run tomorrow at 2 or 3, and i'm waking up damn early.
ugh, need sleep.
sleepy sleep.
zzz.

chinese was alright, don't wanna talk about it.

nowadays, i find myself at home with nothing to do.
it's either my friends can't go out, or my parents don't want me out.
but if i'm not out, i find myself rotting at home playing games till i get a splitting headache.
jeez, i need a good rest soon.
some r&r.

"once you find yourself caught deep in the abyss,
you'd scream as the fluid collapse your lungs,
pressure forcing into your body,
crumpling your flesh into a ball.
you see red, and know where it's from,
but you can't help it,
because by now,
you know you're as good as dead."

The day before tomorrow.

so it's tomorrow, the MT A'levels.
it's been lurking all this while and i've never been a bit scared.
why?
because i've done all i can over the year,
so what can I do in exactly a day?
revise.
all that i've learnt.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEL AND JOSEPH.

today, we gave joel his presents.
one was exceptionally exceptional.
and we made him into believing the wildest thing.


ANYWAY

i'm supposed to be revising now.
not really in the mood to blog these few days,
must be the weather.

Maybe you've gone stale.

that naked smile.

ONE FINE DAY.

written report has finally ended, and a whole new chapter of OP and I&R begins.

shermaine just asked me to watch a show on channel 8, about people who change the lives of those unfortunate for the better, and i feel that i've been taking my living conditions for granted.

now, i'm waiting for open office to download because apparently, i only have a trial version of the vista powerpoint on my com. really need to rush on op tomorrow because my dry run is on wednesday.

was planning to go out with heidi, fiona and timothy on saturday, but heidi couldn't make it, so we decided to postpone until after the op period. really hope to see all of you guys soon.

today, i came home early and decided to go cycling, and on my way around pasir ris, i met really unexpected people whose names i will not mention here because it will cause an alarm.


Two jumps in a week, I bet you think that's pretty clever don't you boy.
Flying on your motorcycle, watching all the ground beneath you drop.
You'd kill yourself for recognition; kill yourself to never ever stop.
You broke another mirror; you're turning into something you are not.

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

Drying up in conversation, you will be the one who cannot talk.
All your insides fall to pieces, you just sit there wishing you could still make love
They're the ones who'll hate you when you think you've got the world all sussed out
They're the ones who'll spit at you. You will be the one screaming out.

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

It's the best thing that you've ever had, the best thing that you've ever, ever
had.
It's the best thing that you've ever had; the best thing you've had has gone away.

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

"High and Dry" by Radiohead


I've been listening to songs that bring in the nostalgia and city lights,
they've been outside my window and it's these moments that bring me to wonder if i really exist.
Sometimes, i feel dizzy believing that i'm me,
guess i need more confidence in my life.

65% to go....sian

i wonder if i can skip school tomorrow, then can do my op fully.

right before your very eyes.

Love has always been blind.
think:

you always had a crush on someone,
and wished that the person felt the same,
eventually, you get what you want and you're together with that person.
so what?
you fail to predict, anticipate all that has to come,
you fail to keep up with your studies,
you burn a hole in your pocket,
all you do is fight,
and fight,
and fight,
eventually you're on the verge,
and you tell that person: "if you love me, you'll give in".
that person says the same thing too.
and it's all in a circle,
going round and round,
until it breaks down.
then you realise,
you've made the wrong choice.
and you realise,
how blind love can be.

Love is not a word, it is a compilation of many promises and sacrifices.
That is why one shouldn't take love so lightly.

"Love Blind"

the promise of a lifetime.

firstly, i'm dying from pw.
don't wanna talk about that because it makes me sick inside and outside.

secondly, the person who tagged as heidi-hater is such a loser.
haha, let's just call the person IT.
1) IT has no guts to put its own name on my tagboard.
2) IT doesn't even have guts to put it on heidi's tagboard and has to put it on mine instead.
3) IT has no balls.
4) IT thinks IT is very big.
5) IT doesn't even DARE to come FACE to FACE and say that in front of me or heidi.
6) IT has no balls.
7) IT has no guts.
8) IT has no balls.
9) IT is a girl, because of the lack of balls.
so, what i listed is what i can conclude from a simple tag, GP rocks.

okay, so much for IT.

YAY PRAWNING THIS WEEKEND
i seriously can't wait to hold a fishing rod!!!!

i've been listening to lots of jap music nowadays and watching anime.
EYESHIELD 21!!!
super old, but super cool anime.


"and just like that, you drifted off my line"

D-Day

yes, i haven't blogged for a long long time.
because i'm either too busy playing or doing work.
and now, i only got a moment to blog before returning to reality.
PW is so tedious and screwed.

I&R and WR this week.
OP trials next week and the actual is on the 3rd.
MT A'levels on the 30th i think.

gosh, if only i had someone to show me that everything's gonna be okay.
it's like i'm showing many people how everything's fine, but it's not fine myself.

for those who are reading, i think i'll blog soon enough, if not this week then next week or the week after the next....you get the idea.

i need something to keep me awake...


"you played games that only fooled yourself, hiding from the truth you can't hold within."

Post-Promo MUGGING

firstly, here are some photos, some kinda delayed, some on time.
I finally got my sergeant keroro figure!!!! hahahaha, so cool!!!!
okay, this is the cap i bought and my ticket for the F1.
flowers and a tote bag for my mummy on her birthday.
this just came out fresh from the horse farm, they have horse poop in pink too!
okay, dickeon's phone is balanced on 2 $2 notes and it's cool.


currently, i'm listening to Back-On's (yes, it's a jap band)
1) Blaze Line
2) Hikari Sasuhou (metal version)
3) A Day Dreaming...
4) Flower

they're so awesome and i wanna GET THEIR CD!!!

ok, i've got man vs. wild at 10, must not miss it!
and i've got to do something about sleeping because i don't seems to have enough sleep for the past week.
damn, this is JC life.
at least i'll get paid at least 3000 when i graduate from uni!!!
hahahaha.


"you're gonna break the scarecrow"

MONDAY

Loveless avenue, where the red light illuminates,
masking the blood stained streets of those hurt,
out of life,
out of love,
they seek comfort in anyone but above,
pacing from door to door,
asking for more and more,
oh what a crimson red hue,
only in loveless avenue.

"Loveness Avenue" by HX.

lol, i showed it to joel and he was like "no comment", and there i was laughing and amazed at my creativity. XD

i should be able to watch house bunny with joel tomorrow.

but the homework today is like omg.
1) Econs,
2) Chinese OMG
3) GP


i'm so tired.
i wanna sleep now.
because the weather is so cold.


AHH, PRAWNING SOON!!!!

the 2 am post.

Somehow, i always contradict myself.
for example,
i swore never to buy sausages from the western stall, but i still do.
or i'll never buy noodles from the noodle stall, but sometimes, i still do.
now, i thought i wouldn't blog till next friday, but i can't take the un-updated-ness (there's no such word) of my blog!

i'm doing wr now, and will be stuck with it till friday.

i hope something nice happens to me, like a sudden fishing trip, or i find lots of monies on the ground.

because good surprises don't happen to me that often anymore, and life is boring again.
it's a hassle everyday to worry about my work, whether the person i love feels the same, whether i'll bump into people i hate, whether i still have the time to worry so much.
because i can't just give everything up now, not now, despite all the times thinking about it, someone once taught me not to be irresponsible and i will not.

SOMETHING GOOD, PLEASE HAPPEN QUICK BEFORE I GROW BORED.

i'm looking forward to a few things these days.
1) prawning!
2) that dinner i owe.
3) the kelong trip.
4) the malaysia trip(if i can go)
5) taiwan!
6) christmas concert.
7) all the fun things i do with my friends.
8) jamming with livert.

"that fuzzy feeling when summer comes and the jazz comes in the sun."

okay, i think i'll stop here.
getting tired, must do wr before i sleep.

FONOGENICO

I'm currently in love with this japanese jazz duo called FONOGENICO
and so i'm promoting them on my blog.

here's two songs.
1) Reason
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxufjEoquqw
2) Rhythm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPqIIUtsH8s

watch it because it's nice.
till friday, bye. :D

HELL-IDAY

ohkay, sho here'sh whatchts gonna happen.

list of homework:
1) Econs (lotsa essays)
2) Physics Spa (skill c, d worksheet)
3) GP essay outline
4) OMG Chinese
5) PW!!!!!

I'm seriously stressed out(once again) and this time.

OMGWTF PW!
we're so behind and we need to put in so much effort by next friday(dealine for WR)

basically, here's what i'm doing for the days till next friday:
1) no blogging.
2) WR all the way.
3) very little sleep.
4) very cranky ( i hope not, but can't be helped if i'm too stressed without enough sleep.)
5) lots of ginseng, red bull, brands, coffee(i love latte).
6) very little time spent at home, except for sleep.
7) a lot of time spent outside doing work.

i'm so scared......and pissed.....and screwed unless WE do something about the WR.

so after next friday, i think i can get a breather and then continue on other stuff.

i gtg do work. till next friday, ciao.

NOSTALGIA

Will you remember, a friend forever, who has pressed on, stood the test of time and space?
I heard that if a knot is tied, it will never unravel, just frozen in time and space.
Friends are never lost, just kept in a distant part of your memory where the forgotten resides.
Friends always reflect yourself, and will be there for you if you happen to be beside.

Through the lights on the streets at night,
through the darkness that resides in the sky,
i bring you nostalgia for all that we've been through,
when we could see one another's souls and not the mask of skin.

Drums beat just like how the rhythm of friends go,
up and down at odd times, but always keeping the rhythm it's supposed to go.
You just need to listen for the distant sounds of beats,
to know where your memories go.

THE END

it's 12++ and i've just done my WR.
need to compile it.
school's tomorrow, not really looking forward to it, but ugh, no choice.

congrats to Alonso.
disappointed about Ferrari.


"i looked back at an email when you were overseas, oh how weird it must have sounded now."

haha, the timeline for the pics is bottom up.
I really need to thank Limter for inviting me to F1 and sharing lots of laughter with me,
Fiona for laughing at my jokes and being my best friend,
and Guataman for joking and fooling around with me.
It was a great day, and i'm so looking forward to the finals.

GO KIMI RAIKKONEN!!! GO FERRARI!!! GO MASSA!!!!

this is a picture post, so enjoy! :D

"Curses" - BFMV

We've waited far to long to, watch it all crash and fall through,
So when you feel like shit you've gotta keep on pushin,
If you saw the world through my eyes, then you wouldn't feel so high rise,
Its time to take a chance you've gotta sit back and hold tight.

Theres forces working in our heads but we don't understand them,
I need a map to find my way out all the time,
Theres curses lurking in our heads but we don't want to find it,
We need to come back down and face what we've become.

We've become!!!

The more I think the more I wish I'd pushed stop then hit rewind,
What I would give to have a day back then when no one really cares,
I remember when we all used to kick back,and take days off school,
So many times I've smiled many times I cried but never did we try,

Never did we try, because...

Theres forces working in our heads but we don't understand them,
I need a map to find my,way out all the time,
Theres curses lurking in our heads but we don't want to find it,
We need to come back down and face what we've become.

Its haunting me! Im so alone,
Im just trying to find my way back home,
Im so alone, alone.

Theres forces working in our heads but we don't understand them,
I need a map to find my way out all the time,
Theres curses lurking in our heads but we don't want to find it,
We need to come back down and face what we've become.


now, find your way out of this, like how you left me dying 3 months ago without air to breathe.
you brought this on yourself, you deserved this.
and now i tell you too, that i have a future ahead, one without you.
goodbye.

I have a future without you to pursue.

OH MY GOODNESS, I MET THE PROMOTIONAL CRITERIA.
and safe to say, i'm going to J2.
now, i'll have 2 years of JC!!!! hahaha

ok, so now i have PW to do.
need to churn out the 3rd draft by tonight,
and correct it as soon as it gets vetted.

F1 this Saturday!!!!!
lol, can't wait to see fiona and lim, and the F1 cars, and Raikkonen, Massa, Hamilton, Truli, Alonso, Montoya.........
Heidi, i'll post the pictures i take at the F1 event, especially for you.
(you should realy consider the smiley face thing.)

hokay, i'm jamming with livert, maybe ethel and some other people soon enough.
and i'm playing badminton with faizal on friday, probably ask tim to come along, and joel too.

okokokokok, lalalalalalaa, i need to do a damn good job on PW.
ciao.

F.E.A.R

Fear has conquered us all,
squeezed our little balls,
to spit out lies for whom we love,
deceiving all the white doves.

Fear has blinded us all,
it has made it your call,
much to our ear's comfort,
much to your mind's comfort.

Fear has made me aware,
made me resist the likes of you,
made me stronger to hold love true,
made me care.

This fear shall not hold me back,
for i conquered fear in making it mine,
for i feared that fear would kill love,
for i feared that fear would make me just like you.

Hence, in fear that i may hurt the one i love, i won't tell lies, only the truth, for
love conquered f.e.a.r(failing every aspect repeatedly)

THE AFTERMATH

i was just thinking.
when you're apologising to someone, you expect to be forgiven.
but when you've screwed something up so bad, and don't wanna be forgiven, you don't apologise.
give it some thought, because i think this is really true.

anyway, it's 12 and i have school tomorrow.
i got off the phone with joel at 11 plus.
and now my tuition teacher is messaging me, asking when i can go for tuition.
so i might as well blog a bit about today.

in the morning, i went to meet up with shi yi and jasline about pw stuff.
then we were like "okay, nothing else? lets go!"
haha, so i met up with joel, cheryl, brandon and shermaine at Kembangan at 1:20pm and 1:45pm.
and we took a train to orchard, went to borders, orange julius and took a shuttle bus to Dempsey Road, where they were having a flea market.

so basically, we took loads of pics and i got my mum's b'day present there, which by the way is first hand.
after that, we took a cab to holland V where there is in fact a redundant windmill on top of the building. went to cold rock ice creamery(is that right?) to grab some desert and snapshots before making our way home.
i had this cafe and grill for dinner to celebrate my mum's b'day.
and blah blah blah, joel will post the pictures with a picture post.

i hope school's fun tomorrow.


i would like to thank my friends for being here for me when i need you guys the most.
and when it's your turn to feel down, i'll be there for you too.
just like what real friends do. (it rhymes)

BAD BAD MOOD

I'm bloody pissed right now.
i HATE(to the point where i wanna tear their faces open) people who bloody lie about stuff.
i seriously despise, look down, spit on those who do such things.
what the heck happened to good old honesty and trust.

warning, the blank space below contains some vulgar stuff that you can read if you bold it, so those who do not want to see it, DON'T BOLD IT.


You f**king losers, always trying to hide what wrongs you've done by blaming it on something else or simply hiding it. I seriously hate you people, you all simply DO NOT deserve any respect from me or anyone, you're so low, so f**king low, you're so low, i can only refer to you as IT. You're comparable to some fucking low-life uncivilised organism.
You hid it from me, until it was too late to do anything about it, no wonder "true" friends are those who are as f**king low as you.
You're so proud of yourself, thinking you've done the people around you proud when you've just crippled yourself inside out, you've made a whole new person for yourself, thriving on cheating people of their emotions and hiding the fucking truths behind everyone who has given you their trust. Someday, all the things you've done and ignored is going to come back to you, and when you get your just deserts, it's gonna hurt so bad, you'd wish you were dead.
me? i'll be learning from what you've f**king done. i learn never to trust anyone with the likes of you, no matter how honest and respectful they seem. i learn never to lie to people who are close, and when i mean close, i mean respectful and close. F**k you, i wonder what'll happen if she knew, i'm feeling so bad for her already, and even WE pity her for how you're treating her behind her back. I'd hope she doesn't find out, then she can carry on living a happy life of lies.
No wonder you said all those things, it's because you wanna try and "stop" this shit before we found out, and when it's long gone, it wouldn't hurt anyone of us. WOW, how f**king thoughtful of you you F**KING LIAR. Guess what? I've never ever felt like this, i hope you like what you've done, because there's no turning back the way i see it.



PS: anyone who comes up to me and asks me anything about it, I WON'T TALK, so you might as well save your breath.

PSS: i'm feeling ill and bored.

you cheated right from the start.

morning.
a bit hoarse from yesterday night's karaoke session with family.
haha, too many songs to list them out here.
lol, first thing i did was to search for hand of blood, and guess what?! THEY DON'T HAVE IT.
no surprise there.

i'm feeling like shit right now, really feel like strangling someone.

currently, i'm listening to "Home" by Michael Buble.
i think i'll probably try to tab it out because it's not available on the net.

today, no plans to go out yet, just planning to slack and do PW.
maybe i'll go and sleep.

ugh, bloody cold.
ok, morning's not really the time to blog.