Cryostasis

cry me a future where the revelation runs amok.

2010-12-06T20:51:00.002+08:00

sometimes, we cannot forget people or things.
just like that old pillow that you hugged every night, thrown away but never forgotten.
people are no different.
we remember with a hint of regret, a longing for the past.
yet we stay in the present with only an album in our heads,
and another album in our hands.

we only strive to be remembered.

I wouldn't want it any other way.

2010-10-24T19:05:00.002+08:00

It's been long since I blogged, but nevertheless, here's a post for the memories.

Everything's fine, and Zoe and I recently celebrated our 8 months together. Happy 8 months and 2 days dear! I love you!
We actually went to the art museum for free because there was a wedding there until we got chased out cuz we needed to buy tickets and got caught by the guard. XD
Still, it was a very fun day and we dressed up nice. (:
I don't want this to end, I don't want this to lose momentum.
I only want what can help us, love and grow for each other.

It's been a quick year, and there's only 2 months left. I hope next year's even faster, because I can't wait. XD

Time

2010-08-07T09:49:00.003+08:00

It's been 2 weeks since she went to japan, and so many things happened for me recently.

Life is so screwed for me, i wouldn't even want to type it here.

She's coming back tomorrow, and i can't wait. XD

dismantle.repair

2010-06-06T10:27:00.002+08:00

This is still my favourite song from Anberlin, one which i would (almost) religiously listen to everyday.
I hope you find meaning in it too because it has given me a lot.

One last glance from a taxi cab
Images scar my mind
Four weeks felt like years
Since your full attention was all mine
The night was young and so were we
Talked about life, God, death, and your family
Didn't want any promises,
Just my undivided honesty, and you said

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change, oh, they're gonna change

I am the patron saint of lost causes
A fraction of who I once believed (change)
only a matter of time
Opinions I would try and rewrite
If life had background music playing your song
I've got to be honest, I tried to escape you
But the orchestra plays on, and they sang

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change

[Chorus 2x]
Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

Give me time to prove
Prove I want the rest of yours (prelude)
Call this a prelude to a lifetime of you
It's not that I hang on every word
I hang myself on what you repeat
It's not that I keep hanging on
I'm never letting go

[Chorus 2x]
Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

Save me from myself
Save me from myself
Help me save me from myself
Save me from myself

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change

[Chorus 4x]
Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down (repair)
You dismantle me
You dismantle me

and suddenly the world falls apart.

2010-06-02T16:06:00.002+08:00

the world is messed up, and i'm still on it.

after dark.

2010-05-26T21:02:00.002+08:00

i just got another two week mc today.
so i guess i'll be doing my own training at home, and hopefully, i'm not lazy enough to apply for my PDL.

recently, a lot has been going through my head, and i wonder if the sun will keep beating as hard.
it's too hot these days to even take a stroll.
i hope it's just the season and not global warming.

i wanna repair my electric, because the mirror seems to have some stain that can't be cleaned.
and this time, i'll let them change the strings because i'm too lazy to do it myself.

i need to go back tekong tomorrow, to endorse my MC.
i wonder if i'll see my friends.

infinity

2010-05-24T09:22:00.002+08:00

it's a month plus since i blogged but the main 2 events that took up my time are NS and MC.
it started as a small rash and it spread to both my limbs, and soon i couldn't walk.
but now i can thanks to medication that could ruin my liver.
anyhow, i'm going back to CGH on wednesday for a checkup and hopefully, i can go back to tekong.

during this MC period, i passed my BTT and we managed to celebrate our 3 months together.

although we were both ill, it didn't spoil our day or anything.
i love zoe. (:
she always cracks me up with the funniest things.
and does the cutest things too.
i gave her a bunch of purple flowers because it makes her happy.
and she makes me happy too.

and i'll come out more than a man.

2010-04-21T21:15:00.002+08:00

tomorrow, we'll be together for 2 months.
i still remember how she said yes 2 months ago,
under the setting sun,
above the calm waves,
surrounded by palm, sand and people,
and the wind,
and the slightly cloudy sky.
we had ice cream before that.
and a long walk by the beach.

tomorrow, i'll still be feeling the same way about her.
with that sweet smile that never seems to fade
and the same laughter that brought me to her.
all i need to do for us is to love her, myself and us.

well, i'm going to serve my country next monday.
so if war does break out, i hope i can save whoever reads this in time.
83 items upon enlistment and so many more to bring.
honestly, i'm looking forward to it, and i can't wait to make new friends.

Zoo

2010-04-08T08:45:00.002+08:00

it's 8:45 and i've finished making zoe's present.
it took me 3 days to make, so i hope she likes it. XD
i'm waiting for her to come before we go to the zoo.

the weather is unforgiving these days, but i hope that today, mother nature can gimme a break.
today is gonna be fun.

where dreams are made of.

2010-03-31T22:38:00.002+08:00

tomorrow's 1st of april, i think i might play a small prank on dear if she doesn't read this. XD
we're still going strong, and she did the sweetest thing today.
i think i fell for her all over again. (:

recently, i've been playing FFXIII.
and my dad encourages me to play while my mum tells me to stop.
i like it when dad's at home. XD

still, 1st ZOE <3 then ffxiii.

bad bad bad day.

2010-03-23T18:49:00.002+08:00

today, life was screwed up.
the only 3 things good about today was:
1) i got my pay.
2) i'm still alive.
3) i'm still with zoe.

sometimes, i may not understand everything that goes on in life,
but i'll do my best to cope with it.
no, i'll do the best.
and when it's tough,
i'll try harder.
still, it sucks when shit stares at you in the face and you know you gotta pick it up.
obviously, it feels good to wash your hands and disinfect it afterwards.
me? i'm still holding the shit.
and i'm trying my best to bury it.

just like that

2010-03-10T23:48:00.003+08:00

and i would never want it any other way.
it has been and still is, a great time with zoe and it can still be greater.
so many ideas, so many things, and all to make it better.
she's been super nice and good to me,
and i just hope that my best will make her feel like how i do, or even better.

i love the little things we do together.

the weather has been unforgiving though.
i wish global warming was a government conspiracy sometimes.

i just finished watching all the episodes of K-ON!
i can't believe that i watch these kinda shows.
but it's good.

somehow, somehow.

2010-03-05T08:56:00.002+08:00

maybe it's a little too late to be worrying,
but it's there and it's a piece of paper.

somehow, everything's gonna fall right into place.
if we only had a way to make it fall faster everyday.

i'm gonna reach sch at 2.
i'm gonna wait for my grades.
i'm gonna take it.
i'm gonna go straight home.
and end up drinking either way.
then think about how i wanna live my life.
and dream about how my life could've been for better or worse.

might be afk for a couple of days.
GOOD LUCK

while i dream.

2010-03-02T22:59:00.000+08:00

today i spent the whole day with love,
she looks even better today for some reason,
and she looks so good when she smiles, it melts my heart every time.

i love it when it's scenic and just the two of us there,
it makes the world go round. XD

i'm gonna have a good rest tonight, i'm still feeling the effects from natas.
and tonight, i'll dream of someone who has made my dreams come true.

NATAS was FAIR

2010-03-01T01:02:00.002+08:00

i just reached home and it's around 1.
i've been sleeping at 1 and waking up at 8 for the past two days before staying at the booth for almost 12 hours straight everyday.
and it has FINALLY, yes, FINALLY ended.

yesterday, my love made lunch for me in a box and brought it over to surprise me.
i feel fortunate to have someone like her, and no one's ever packed lunch for me before.
so it really gave me the strength to continue.
everyday she'll visit me at the fair, i feel fortunate. (:

damage dealt to me by the fair:
1) sore throat
2) super blood shot eyes
3) loss of appetite
4) sick of japanese resorts
5) momentary fear of foreigners

i have my bacardi with me now, i'm gonna take 3 shots and try to K.O until i cannot see the blood in my eyes.

all went well, except that...

2010-02-26T22:24:00.002+08:00

except that i dropped my bloody laptop and cracked a corner off.

natas fair was tiring, 12 hours of talking and hardly any breaks.
at least i could get to see her today, it really made my day and drove me on to work. (:

i got my pay for today, in JP yen.

sending fee off later.

i'm tired.

love till our hearts are entangled.

2010-02-25T23:31:00.002+08:00

today is a very happy day for me, and someone really special.
because today, approval is at height.

NATAS fair tomorrow.
I'll be working for Hoshinoya Onsen Ryokan (hot springs resort) and advertising their brand to Singaporeans.

as part of my job is to advertise Hoshinoya resorts,
go to this link -->

http://www.hoshinoya.com/en/concept/index.html

for more information.

10 to 10, with an hour's worth of break time.
i'm glad enough the pay's damn good.

and when we gaze,
there's two smiles,
and hearts beating in harmony.

Zero no kotae

2010-02-25T05:23:00.002+08:00

i downloaded the Zero no Kotae song by Uverworld the day before.
and i've played it 78 times on my itunes to this very sentence.

it's 5:24 am on this sentence.
and i can't sleep, it's hot.

there's a baby lizard trying to make a habitat out of my desk, and i can't find it.
i'm paranoid that it'll drop on my lap and i'll freak out.
but not as paranoid as some other stuff.
i sometimes wonder if i have grown up.
that's why this time, i'm supposed to see for myself.

it has been a good few days, and i love it when she clutches tighter even if her hands aren't big.
and when we gaze, i'm lost in her.

a day dreaming.

2010-02-23T11:42:00.010+08:00

yesterday, i went with zoe to sentosa to experience the new stuff there.
it was a really nice day with overcast skies and hardly any sun,
but due to the rain, it was pretty humid.

still, we had a great time seeing all the stuff there.
first we went to imbiah station which zoe thought was "imbah station" when we saw the map. XD

i took a picture with this goat because i'm born in the year of the goat.

then we took the luge down to beach station,where we decided to go for ice-cream.

here's what happens with zoe and ice-cream

before ice-cream

after ice-cream

the ice-cream guy was just weird.
i said "can i have a macadamia surprise?"
and he replied "strawberry surprise?"
and i'm like "no, macadamia surprise"
then when i asked for a taste test of berryfruit flavour,
he almost went to scoop strawberry until i told him berryfruit AGAIN.
sheesh.

if you ignore the upside down words that says no diving,
it'll look like a sign saying "no surfacing"

i take pride in being able to center pictures well. (:

after the beach, we went to get airbrush tattoos, which i completely forgot to take photos of. XD
but i got a sun tattoo and she got a butterfly tattoo.
i think the sun tattoo makes me look tribal.

soon after, we went to finish our sky rides and luge rides,
then went to Chili's (i think that's the name) at universal studios to eat.
honestly, it wasn't very good, but the service was good.
the waiter came every few moments to check on us, asking to give any comments.

oh, there was this huge Hershey's shop nearby, and a huge Hershey mascot walking around.

if only the choco bar was real.

by then it was already late, and after a quick stop at vivo, we went home.

i found a video of UVERworld this morning, with the song zero no kotae.
watch it because it is super meaningful (a common trait in jap songs)

"they say people remember something before they die,
if that's true i'll probably remember loving."

one time, i asked why people don't make wishes upon stars that stay there,
because shooting stars don't last.
someone told me that shooting stars are rare and better cherished,
because they don't last.
and just like that, life's brighter.

"but still i pray on the last day,
that i'll remember being loved." -UVERworld

live in moderation

2010-02-22T10:03:00.002+08:00

everyday passes so slowly,
but yesterday was the slowest.
went out with the fee, hei, zoe, tim and lim to celebrate early birthdays,
and blow re-lightable candles.
eat.shop.eat.shop.eat.shop.
that was what we practically did.

i hope fee uploads photos soon. XD

oh, after lunch, there was this girl who was sleeping by herself at one of the tables.
i dared tim 10 bucks to sit right in front of her and stare at her until she wakes up.
he did it, and she gave him the evils when she woke up.
i had to give tim 10 bucks.
10 dollars!
i would rather give the 10 dollars to charity.
oh wait, i already did when i gave it to him. XD
*claps to myself*

at night, someone relied on me.
i could be depended on.
i'm glad.

they'd get you then kill you.

2010-02-18T14:11:00.001+08:00

Karma Police by radiohead
to me, radiohead's a legend.

i need to go shopping later.

for the wrong reasons.

2010-02-16T22:46:00.002+08:00

sometimes, i can't understand why things have to be this way.
when a reunion is done for the sole purpose of seeing old friends,
someone gave all the wrong reasons for doing so.
despite some facts, it seems that there's just no point when the class was meant to be this segregated.

i just came back because my dad decided not to play till 2-3.
so i can finally sleep till the sun burns through my eyelids.
i need to exercise tomorrow.
it's been eating, gambling and sleeping these days.
unhealthy.:(

i haven't bathed since 7 plus.
i feel dirty.

Gonna die soon.

2010-02-16T07:48:00.002+08:00

this lack of sleep is really getting to me.
i slept at 3, woke up at 7 just now.
and the best part? i've gotta stay awake till at least 2-3am to play cards at my uncle's.

i think i'll intoxicate myself with pineapple tarts till i fall to the ground.

sometimes, when the world is against you and you don't realize it, life's a chore,
so don't be no bitch.

before i know it, it's too much.

2010-02-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

i just had 4 glasses of wine and a lot of food.
pretty tipsy now.
and i never get drunk, just very sleepy.

anyhow, i just recalled that the new year season is always the drinking season.
damn i love this season.

i can't wait to put on my new clothes tomorrow.

setsunai

2010-02-13T13:15:00.003+08:00

well, tim just left my house moments ago after playing rock band and eating lunch.
and i'm waiting for my bros to finish playing their resident evil 5 so that i can play my star wars.

yesterday was a reunion diner at my mum's side.
had steamboat and champagne to drink last night, pretty nice.

anyhow, tonight's another reunion dinner at my dad's side.
and i can see my new nephew and niece.

btw, i think UVERworld is my fav jap band of all time simply because their compositions are unique.

that's why.

oh, and my unicorn tattoo was badly smudged when i slept with a singlet last night, guess it rubbed onto my pillow while i was turning about.
i could always get another fairytale i guess,
but this fairytale still has an unfinished ending.

and friends are forever.

2010-02-12T00:58:00.011+08:00

today, i went to play badminton with tim in the morning.
normally, he's the one who's ALWAYS late, but today when i thought i was late, he still arrived later than me. -.-
there was no one to play with in the hall today, damn boring.

then after badminton, tim almost tried his luck with chanel.
luckily, i called fee so that she could stop him from losing his dignity completely.

after i went home, i rushed to pack and bathe.
and met fee at outram park so that we can go vivocity and sentosa.

here is fee's new haircut, although it wasn't a good shot, it was the only one i have. XD sorry fee.

apparently, both of us were sick of the city and needed cuff-links for various reasons.
hmm, we had lunch at food republic (which by the way i think it kinda sucks)
and went to sentosa.

so this is kung-fu panda and woody woodpecker coming out of one of the studios from universal studios.
we were in the train and saw them below.

this is the new wave ride which i really wanna try, caught it at siloso beach.

went up to the underwater world area and found this peahen with her babies.
fee seems to socialize well with animals.

anyway, just 3m away from that picture, i got my unicorn tattoo there.

cool right? but it kinda smudged a little when i bathed just now.
i feel conned. but i wanna get another when i'm going back there. XD

we actually went to ride the luge, but for obvious reasons, i couldn't take pics.
and here's for the memories...

after sentosa, we ate at the soup spoon.
and i got my cuff-links.

damn nice right? btw, i think my censorship skills are superb, you can almost make out the brand but you can't see it clear.

ok, i've just let a friend down and i'm feeling the guilt. :(
hmm, i shall not play star wars and go online next time.
sorry!

anyway, it's 1 plus and all my muscles ache from jogging yesterday and playing badminton this morning and walking at sentosa.
i'm gonna sleep and waste tomorrow by attempting to play pool by myself. :(

and because saying it is overrated, i'll show you the miracles of a mime.

life's disease.

2010-02-06T21:22:00.002+08:00

today, someone discussed with me the big what if.
what if our lives ended tomorrow.
i'm sure no one has ever neglected that thought, and some embrace it to cope with it.

in 1 year.
we can buy loads of stuff.
we can celebrate every occasion with a bang.
we can fall in love over and over again.
or we can fall for one for the entire duration.

but if we lose the gift to live one more year, i'd make that day something to remember for.

i'd make the memory of me an eternity.

my mum just went on a flower spending spree.

inevitable coincidence.

2010-01-30T12:59:00.004+08:00

hmm, i caught the imaginarium of doctor parnassus yesterday with zoe, and it is surprisingly very hard to give any comments on the movie.

i guess the imaginarium itself is complicated.
it is like a willy wonka love story with a hint of madness.
but heath ledger's last performance was really astounding.
only johnny depp could compare to him, jude law and colin farrel are a bit of a disappointment.

in other news, we went up to the 7th story at iluma and i got zapped by this electric fence that looked like poles stuck in the ground.
and they didn't bother to label it. -.-

i realise that linguine (my mouse) is damn active at night, running the hamster wheels and desperately trying to gnaw off that steel cage of hers.
LUCKILY, she's fat now and can't squeeze through the cage bars.

i think today is going to be another damn boring saturday.

do you know what's a pool que?

2010-01-27T20:41:00.002+08:00

25 tables plus cleared in 5 hours,
a sense of satisfaction,
aching shoulders.
that is pool.

State the obvious on your own.

2010-01-25T22:17:00.002+08:00

I guess my sunday and monday kinda sucked to the core.
Flu is cramping my life, locking me indoors, making me kill trees and dope myself with meds.
well, not dope but you get the idea.

hmm, cough syrup is really making me sleepy.

UGH
how i long for the great outdoors.
i've got a list of things in my head once the flu is gone.
for now, staying indoors really kills my brain cells, and it bores me to death.

at least i got time to do stuff that i always complain i don't.

for the time being.

2010-01-23T00:29:00.004+08:00

sometimes i'd see the bitter side of life,
but that's okay because life's finite.
so we won't laugh at the price of a tear,
when we all drown deep in emotion.

regrets in life are all too heavy,
because no one will look at us,
only ourselves.
so puck up and regret with pride.

when all you think is gone,
it's gone.
why bother when you can give up.
when hope so frail chains the ailing spirit.

but then we don't give up,
it's not logical,
it's not our curse,
we tell ourselves yes.

eventually the outcome is as it is,
and we move on till we're 6 feet deep,
just to make everyone we knew,
remember us as it was.

and it works.

it's 12:29 but it feels like 3.
time for my 3am indomee.

i'll regret, and come out wounded, but i'll pull through.

MILO!

2010-01-19T22:24:00.003+08:00

As the title suggested, this post is gonna be all about MILO!
So if you don't wanna read it, just skip it.

Okay, so MILO! is the drink so sweet and chocolatey that dare i say, almost everyone loves it.
so having drank MILO! since young, i would like to share my experiences of MILO! with everyone who reads this.

Likes about MILO!:
1) I only drink MILO! strictly with MILO! powder, and i take it in heaps. Usually up to half a cup of that glorious god-sent powder (sounds like drugs) stirred with hot water and then luke warm water.
2) MILO! is fabulous.
3) MILO! powder can be added to a cup of cold milk and stirred or just drunk when the powder become chunks.
4) MILO! can be made like step 1 but chilled and then MORE MILO! POWDER IS ADDED TO ENHANCE THE SWEET FLAVOURS (also it's about the chunks)

Dislikes about MILO!:
1) none.

so you see, besides all the other foodstuff and drinks (like the indomee supply in my cupboard that is quickly depleting) i love MILO!

I've been playing Fallout 3: Game of the Year Edition and it just rocks so hard i can't stop.

oh yea, i drank two full glasses of option (3) MILO! yesterday. One in the afternoon and one before bed. I took half the container of powder.

Holiday everyday.

2010-01-12T21:08:00.002+08:00

I love days when i sleep at three and wake up at 2-3 in the afternoon thinking about how i wasted half of a perfectly great day sleeping like a log.

well today i woke up at 12 after sleeping at 1, then i sat at the couch and played PS3 all the way till 3:30.
then tim called. "eh, wanna play badminton tomorrow morning?"
me "hmm....can lor, or maybe you wanna play later?"
tim "eh, i don't mind leh, let's play!"
me "okay, let's play at 5."

so i'm home now after playing badminton.
i feel so healthy now.

currently, i'm giving my bro tuition, and it seems that i blog while i'm giving him tuition.
at least he's listening to my advice.

tomorrow, we're going to fee's house to cook dinner before she goes back to medan.
it seems like forever that we've been friends, and i hope it lasts when we go our separate ways in the not too distant future.
because not all good things come to an end.

ok, back to teaching....and surfing the net. XD

I'M FRIGGIN BACK ON THE BLOG!

2010-01-10T14:37:00.003+08:00

Hello!
I'm actually blogging!

So yea, with all the usual reasons for not blogging, i feel like closing down this blog, but heck, i'm lazy!

Right at this moment, i'm giving my brother tuition, and he's doing stuff i gave him. XD
hmm....december was great, i mean after the A'levels, i basically went overseas and did loads of stuff.
to me, December of 2009 was too good to be only kept in my brain (hence, i'm not intending to share it here.)

anyway, yesterday clarence and i went to play pool (in which i lost almost all the games because i haven't been there in months.)
then we went to this filipino(how to spell?) place for dinner...
and on the menu, i ordered a set of BBQ CHIX
yes! BBQ CHIX!
my initials are CHX and i don't know why but everyone pronounces it as chix, so i practically had myself for dinner.

haha, with so much free time, i've been out a lot lately so i hardly blog and i will hardly blog in the future because NS enlistment is in April 26.

so far, life's good when you wake up and realise you don't have school today.
or when you play and remember that there's no homework.
but the only worry now is in March.

anyway, an explosion in a supernova reaches 55million degree celcius.
and that's why i love national geographic, even though i didn't get the job there.

peace out,
CHiX

2am

2009-11-01T02:09:00.002+08:00

I'm at subway, reading about the UK mobile network industry on a case study.
It's 2:10am and i'm tired.
Timothy just went home and now i find myself alone till day breaks.
I need a foot long sub at 3 if i wanna survive.
Tomorrow's agenda is obviously sleep.

One Republic is surprisingly good at keeping me company till now.
listened to the whole album twice without skipping a track, and i even sing along if i know the lyrics.

I have a cold. :(

that wriggly feeling inside.

2009-10-30T00:54:00.004+08:00

i've just said my goodnights to someone whom i just knew.
it's something special, it really is.
though it's only a first impression, it's a lasting one.
sweet.

10 days left to the start of my A'levels.
just like any other student, i'd say that i do not have enough time, not enough confidence to do it.
but instead, i'd say that i have wasted time that could've been time well spent on studying, that i could've done better.
and now, i feel guilt, shame that would empower me with the gift of endurance to persevere through the night.
even if it's 1am, i'm still studying.
and i wish all my friends out there all the best.
it's only those who give a damn about what they do that they actually get it.
crude, but that's life.

perhaps, there's hope that a week's effort may be just what we've needed all the while.
don't give up, and turn hope into action.
because we're only old enough to know, but too young to care.
A is for A'levels!

Last.

2009-10-07T19:06:00.001+08:00

I hate school now. From now until it's over.
I hate tuition. Because i have to cross half of Singapore and that wastes time.
I have low self-esteem. Because i don't know if i can do it.
I have never gotten a single A for some subjects, let alone get A in the A'levels.
I wanna stay at home from now till the A's are over.
I am not in the mood for laughter or fun because the thought of it just makes me angry, especially when it's this close to the A'levels.
I don't even blog or go online as often, this could be my last post till the A'levels are over and i come back from holiday.
I know that i have to isolate myself from the world to focus on what is important.
I don't need someone to tell me that it's going to be alright.
I don't need a shoulder to lie on.
I don't need to think.
All i need to do is study.
4 weeks and 3 days to my first paper.
4 weeks of isolation and study.
80 years to regret a decision made.
or 80 years to be content.
80 years of future in 4 weeks of effort and choices.
I better learn to like what i got myself into.

Last breath before drowning.

2009-09-25T22:15:00.002+08:00

I only see one line among the twine.
Not the thickest.
Not the brightest.
There's a sign that it's breaking.
I might fall.
I want to break down and sit in one corner for the rest of my life.
I really do.
If I knew this was what I had to endure.
Some low-life, miserable effort.
To inspire me to work hard.
But I know it'll just come crashing down.
Like all the failures that weren't worth mentioning before.

dull away. dope.

2009-09-25T21:56:00.002+08:00

seriously, i'm stuck on a friday night with nothing to do and without any motivation to do work or sleep.
a friday night.
nothing.
at least accoustic sessions with the band went swell, and i can't wait for the next meet.
graduation is gonna be a blast, but the songs are still pretty much secret.

i tried fishing a few days ago at the pond, seriously wasn't worth it.
no fish, and a tan while i was wearing a singlet and sunglasses.
i wanna go to the yatch club and fish there because it's more productive and the study atmosphere is great.

so far, my prelims are not looking good.
i need someone to motivate me or something because at this rate, i'd rather die.
hopefully, the mood comes naturally.

i remember how we spent hours on the phone, and sometimes when we both say nothing it means much more than it seems to.

sometimes i want the easy way out, but i know it's just an excuse for me being lazy.

F1 in Singapore, and it's september already.

someone throw me a rope so i can pull myself up.

i've been waiting for a miracle, and it might save me.

2009-09-19T08:58:00.002+08:00

prelims are over, and they're long gone now.
so here's the main focus, A's.

caught the ugly truth yesterday, now i understand myself better.

today, having a bbq lunch with my band mates so i gtg buy the food and grill later.
shishamo woo!!!!!

yea, my band's playing for the graduation party, so that's what we got for doing a good job early in the year.

anyway, this isn't a long post but there's so many things to say.
till next post, world peace.

karma will get back at you, this i swear.

2009-09-05T00:57:00.003+08:00

here's news.
i fractured my nose cartilage.
or rather, this ego-istic son of a mother thought it would be nice to elbow my nose in the middle of handball last thursday.
i was cursing and swearing, and when i came back from washing my bloody nose (bled from 2 nostrils), he was gone.
i went to A&E and they said it was a fracture.
then, long story cut short, i got covered by insurance and the specialist said i didn't need an operation(thank god) and it would recover in 3 weeks, so 2 weeks left to go.
i will never forget this, and i can't wait for the next pe session.

prelims has been alright so far, apart from the killer GP paper.
everyday from today is gonna be like one full maths and physics paper everyday till the prelims are over.

at least my band's gonna perform for the J2 farewell assembly.
5 people, no rock, all accoustic.
definitely need something cool.
something that'll make everyone's jaw drop for all the right reasons.

i'm beggining to love my J2 life, but it's too much of a good thing.

One to satisfy the eyes.

2009-08-26T22:27:00.001+08:00

One week to prelims, two months to A'levels.
It's where my life pivots around, at least that's what everyone says...
but it's only another climb in life.
was never a pivot.

I've been thinking and talking about what i should do in the future, but instead of daydreaming about how i'm gonna do marine conservation in hopes of better aquatic sustainability, i've decided to just see how it goes for the moment.

Interesting things i did recently:
1) Made myself a wallet out of duct tape.
2) Bought new fishing gear.
3) Made studying fun.
4) Got a new cover for my ipod.
5) Got plenty of new clothes to wear, so i can preserve my mushroom shirt.
YOU GOTTA know Your Mushrooms.

I've caught up with heidi and tim recently, and i wanna catch up soon with fiona and lim too.
Really happy that we've had a history of ups and downs.
Anyway, teacher's day doesn't look so good, because i might not be going back to PRSS.
Sorry, maybe towards the end of the year? Then it's a surprise visit.

Anyway, prelims are around the corner, and it just seems that now, everything in life is piecing together. I'll soon find out what it is.
gotta work hard and smart.

Complex Numbers - Section (8) Loci is a bastard.

2009-07-20T22:21:00.003+08:00

i'm giving up on loci tonight, can't figure out many qns (hence, the need for tuition).
my compass is crooked and i'm drawing ovals instead of circles.
it doesn't look loci at all when you're drawing ovals.

at least the mood is kicking in, i feel the urge to hold a pen and my work for most of the time.
at least more than the PS3 controller so yea, it's good.
first-person shooter disease, still can't get over laughing about that.

1) Econs Essay qn 3
2) Econs Essay for lecture
3) Quantun Physics tutorial
4) Maths complex 3
5) Chem Energetics.
6) Gp Essay.

and i am in the midst of many, hopefully reaching the end of it soon.

i'm starting to feel alone, but it's just a thought.

First person shooter disease.

2009-07-14T10:12:00.002+08:00

I dug this up from Geekologie.

you either die laughing or laugh dying. it's the same.
haha, the last part was probably Ryu from street fighter.
I love the cereal, orange juice, 9mm handgun, butter knife part.

So the doc gave me a 4 day MC, but i guess i'm going back to school tomorrow. XD

Televised, not telegraphed.

2009-07-13T10:06:00.002+08:00

i'm sick, so no school today yea.
but that means i have work, boo.
NS check-up tomorrow, gotta prepare the necessary documents.

So i've been doing lots of random stuff lately, anime mostly.
and my results really suck.
well, it's a sudden drop so i'm worried and that's good.

no incentive to blog these days.

that blood oath.

2009-07-08T22:40:00.002+08:00

you swore!
do you remember what it was like when you did.
the sky cast in red, sun burning down that evening street.
you kneeled to your thoughts and took an oath.
an oath in your own blood to mark that promise.
yet how could you forget and betray yourself?
how the fuck did you fall so far?
when that oath you took was an oath of truth,
an oath that would not be easy because life was as it is.
now you're only four feet deep before you rise,
when that last foot really matters,
are you going to remember how that oath broke open your skin?
or is that oath lost in vain?
your oath, you decide,
you live or you die.

U to A in 4 months, it has to be done. i admit that i've been lazy, and this is what i deserve.
no time for crossing my fingers, i've got a promise to fulfill, a date with destiny.

discipline. work. win.

Rob a bank, steal a car, kill your homie, pure GTA.

2009-07-02T23:33:00.002+08:00

FINALLY.
Exams are officially over for me, and i'm still awake now.
i haven't slept well for the past few days, have been tossing and turning in bed, waking up to look at formulas and definitions.
Econs was great.
GP was dead.
Maths was dead.
Chem was great.
Physics was okay....

haha, went to swensens with my class today, been a long time since so many of us went out together.
After the rest went to watch transformers, i left for home thinking i would sleep.
until i saw the GTA disc lying on the table.
so i played till 5.
then i was closing my room window when i saw danial, sharmaine and jasline across the road roaming aimlessly. XD
so i invited them up.
caught some TV with them and a damn good episode of the simpsons.
after dinner, i went with my parents to geylang for durian.
and i ate quite a lot.
feeling very satisfied now.

i still can't sleep, too full.
so i'm gonna stone a bit, then maybe play GTA later.

H (ealth) 1 (st) N (est at home for) 1 (week more)

2009-06-22T10:51:00.002+08:00

Read the Today paper this morning, regarding parent's views on how they feel that extending the school holidays for one more week is pretty much useless (because they say that extension or not, we'll all have the same chances of contracting it.)

what rubbish.

142 contracted, and the numbers keep on rising.
yes, this may be less deadly than sars, but it is more contagious.
imagine, the holidays have already allowed 142 people to contract it.
what if the holidays ended? 142 ++++++++++ might contract it.
and the majority would be students.
sure, temperature taking may work.
but what if the symptoms appear only after one has entered school?
then the school would be compromised.

logical.

log on to http://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/index.htm and vote for your choice (extended holidays)

i love being 18.

a little more time, to a lifetime of opportunity.

2009-06-16T22:11:00.002+08:00

today, py, clarence, jay and Angelyn came to help me with the BBQ food for thursday, and basically, we just marinated the food for the whole day. XD
because we bought so much, we had to push two trolleys all the way to my front door and yes, it was tiring too.

basically, i'm still having a lil bit of intestinal infection, so hopefully it recovers soon.

as for studying, asides from tuition, i went through vectors yesterday with tim.
i really need to buck up soon, all for a purpose.

so it's only a few hours to my 18th birthday.
although many things are legal to me now, living for 18 years is a sign that i've grown all this while.
my resolutions are simple, and i'll keep it to myself. XD
but still following them is another thing.
that's why my first resolution is discipline with myself.
and the rest should flow.
i've also learnt to respect others to gain respect, but there are some people who don't deserve nuts.

all in all, i have to study.
and right now, i'm still getting psyched up.
crap.

Anit-Thursdayism

2009-06-12T00:36:00.002+08:00

woke up at 8.
took a 50min bus ride to parkway.
felt ill already (half the mind to go home but i was at katong mall already.)
tuition from 10-12, 12:30-2:30.
took another 50min bus ride home (felt even worse)
stoned at home for 2 hours.
went to eat with dickson before maths.
6:30-9, maths (on the verge of throwing up)
reached home, broke into a fever, ate medicine, slept till 11:30.
woke up, finding that i couldn't sleep.
then here i am blogging about my horrid thursday.

i hate thursdays.

i hope i get well for jamming tomorrow.

i realise you're heaven sent.

2009-06-10T23:00:00.003+08:00

i'm listening to the song that got me hooked onto you, and i have to say that i still love the song.
it also got me hooked onto guitar and R&B.

with pleasure, with pride, without me.

2009-06-09T23:18:00.002+08:00

so tomorrow, it'll be a week away to my 18th.
brithday wishes:
1) To have all my friends remain friends till we grow old.
2) To get my ipod this weekend with parents.
3) To have a great day on the 17th. (think i'm skipping tuition.)
4) I wanna get an accoustic, but it's too expensive.
5) I want good grades, know where i can buy them?
6) Get puma's new foam tech shoes! they're light!
7) Go fishing at least once during this holiday.

and on the 18th of June, there's gonna be a BBQ party at my place for the guitar ensemble.
so although i wanna get shit drunk on the 17th, i'll have to see how it goes first. :(

i really hate people who think they get everything for free.
because it just proves they're worth nothing.

jamming this friday and i can't wait!
songs:
1) Otherside by Red Hot Chilli Peppers
2) Snow(hey oh) by Red Hot Chilli Peppers
3) Today by Smashing Pumpkins

i hate thurday, especially this thursday, i really really despise it.
6 hours of tuition. go figure.

a toast to all we've lived, loved and lost.

2009-06-06T21:28:00.004+08:00

The day i joined TPGE was the day i turned my back on something important, i could've been their captain, but i chose not to after much advice from seniors to follow my own heart. Afterwhich, i told myself, that i can't afford to screw up again, TPGE is my home after school. Initially it was tough, but the workload never lightened and I took on more responsibilities as we progressed. I got the job of a Section Leader and the Publicity/Welfare Officer. Since the day i joined TPGE, i can't say that i have no regrets, all that i can say is that with something to regret, i have grown stronger. Now the time has come, and like all good things, we come to a stop. I saw many of my friends crying as they played the last song together, or just by sitting at the room to take in the last look at what we've achieved, and i can't say that i haven't shed a tear for the last song. In my head, i know we'll all see each other soon, but hardly in the guitar room.

now that it has finally ended, the relief is great.

screw up of the year.

2009-05-24T17:13:00.004+08:00

school's fine, aside from the tons of work and revision before the exams, i can't wait for the holidays.

joined the school's badminton competition yesterday, managed to advance to the semis for doubles, but i lost in the first round of singles.
and i woke up today with a very stiff right arm.

i caught monsters vs aliens yesterday, it's really really good and i expected no less from the creators at pixar. (highly recommended)

still, i gotta say, you screwed up pretty bad.

"The End" before you even saw it coming.

2009-05-20T21:33:00.002+08:00

I'm still in love with japanese music.
Especially those that fall under the pop/rock/metal category, it's unique.

Oh yea, i just realised that i'm a Fall Out boy and Fall Out 3 fan.
so i'm a Fall Out Fan.
haha, FOF anyone?

today was already so tiring, after sports day, guitar practice seemed to last much longer, but we made good progress.
i can't believe i have tuition tomorrow and i forgot.
i also have a physics test tomorrow.
and friday...well, there's service learning.

i just can't wait for the weekends, where it's just me, and the PS3.

i met timothy yesterday at ehub, apparently he was studying there, so i paid him a visit to talk about stuff.
the last time we met was...back when fiona and i went to surprise him at his house for his 18th birthday.
i still remember what we bought, and when fiona and i were paying for it at NTUC, it seemed so scandalous.
haha, i just can't wait where all of us can get together and do something random again.
because the past few times that we (heidi, fiona, tim, lim, sonia and i) went out, everything had a time constraint.
sleepover?
chalet?

school is taking a toll on me, but if i pull through, i know i'll feel great.
badminton competition on saturday 8 to 12, i'm playing singles AND doubles on the same day.
i hope i win something (like sport shop vouchers)

i marvel at the stars and feel the warmth overflow.

2009-05-18T20:54:00.002+08:00

yesterday i went to the airport for dinner with my family, and i saw FIONA and SONIA.
haha, it was so coincidental because i was buying drinks back, and saw them walk past my family's table.
had a talk with them for awhile until we parted at the skytrain.
it has been a long time since we last met.

i can't believe i studied for physics till 12+ on sunday night and to find out that it has been shifted to thursday. on the bright side, i studied already. (:

i'm stuck now, with homework and chem test to study for.

YAY SOCCER TOMORROW FOR PE.
BOO EXTRA LESSONS UNTIL 4 BECAUSE I'M ALL STICKY UNLESS I BATHE IN SCHOOL.

still, i can't wait for the weekends.

white flames

2009-05-17T02:09:00.002+08:00

college day was just weird, less than 10mins and we're off stage.

went to play pool with clarence today, it was really long since we last played.
ate at ajisen ramen afterwards, really good stuff.
then went to catch angels and demons with family, so i'm still awake now.

sometimes, i wonder if what i do really has any rewards.
i think i'm just a selfless fool, giving up what i can for others ever so willingly.
i don't even know why i'm nice to you, when all i get is shit.
at least i know people who are like me, and i know what they deserve.
they deserve better.

today(sunday)
i'm gonna stay at home and do work, and it's something i should do more often these days.
andandand practice tango and 13 days in france. :D

christmas in june.

2009-05-16T00:22:00.002+08:00

i just had some stuff to drink, and played a bit of my ps3.
i'm tired and it's been like this every week.

ethel: yes, we should go catch a movie soon! haha, with so many good shows, it's a good movie season. :D

tomorrow is college day, and it's a saturday.

everything's dizzy now, so i'll crash soon.
it's 12:25.
and i finished my can.

movies.

2009-05-14T20:16:00.000+08:00

Movies to catch.
1) X-men: Origins
2) Star Trek
3) Tansformers
4) Terminator: Salvation
5) Blood: The Last Vampire
6) Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince

two down...four to go.

SILVER IS GOLD

2009-05-07T20:40:00.002+08:00

This applies to our SYF and...
my napfa test!
yay, no first few months for me!!!

i think i'm on the right track, feeling the urge to study nowadays.

i'm tried like hell,
after the napfa, we played soccer.
haha, it's like everyone just walked to get the ball.

i'm just so glad that napfa is over, this means more time to play soccer and not get bored or tired after PE.
unless of course, soccer is tiring, but never boring!

yay, barcelona qualified!!

i need my fix on something new to do, like anime, more fishing or whatever.

i'd die this way than the other....

2009-05-05T22:23:00.003+08:00

speechless.
shocked.
can't believe my ears.
i wanna hear it again.
no wait, i don't.

i HATE, ABSOLUTELY HATE this thursday.
1) Econs test
2) Physics test
3) Napfa test

i still love you,
even though i get sore from the constant up and downs,
even though you don't really talk much,
i enjoy every moment,
that you acconpany me on rough seas,
or strong winds,
because no obstacle can stop us,
my fishing rod.

lol, i just can't wait to go fishing again. XD

why.

2009-05-03T23:35:00.002+08:00

why did i leave the thread out,
when it has been like this since as long as i can remember.
why did i even bother looking at those old photos.
why do i still remmber what you have assumed to forget.
how did we become like this.
when all we had then were us.
when all we made were meant to last,
it sure did.

Birth of a motal.

2009-05-03T22:19:00.003+08:00

"The day begins when the sky is clear, and the soul can see heaven's smile."

I'm doing GP compre now, really totally forgot, and this...this sense of guilt and urgency is my punishment.

I went fishing yesterday, caught small fish. :(
and i bought a large Mexican sombrero hat!

Dad came back from Bangkok today, really good to see him after all the trips he's been recently.

"The night falls when the sky is clear, and the soul can reach heaven's gates."

i miss my grandpa.
i dreamt of him the day after he passed away.
i dreamt that he was in heaven.
and he was eating lots of sweets and goodies (i'm serious. XD)
tomorrow will be exactly 6 years since he passed away.
tomorrow will be slightly more than 6 years since i've heard from him.
but i see him when i want to everyday.
peace.

i learnt in life once, when someone confessed to me.
that one should not regret in life,
that life should not be taken for granted.
it's all been heard before, but never used wisely.
i still hold true to those words that you have taught.

hook, line and fish.

2009-05-01T00:15:00.002+08:00

i just caught x-men origins, and the movie was well worth the money.
it has been a long time since i went for a movie with my family though.

so i've been up to all the usual stuff, but with the syf over, i feel the weight lift off my shoulders.

dad came back from a fishing trip last week, and got loads of fish which could last for a few months.

if i were wolverine, i'd stab my heart and see how that compares to a heartbreak.

tuition for 4 hours tomorrow, won't be easy but i'll live.

Zantetsu-ken

2009-04-24T23:17:00.002+08:00

if you thought the first video of the modern samurai was good, wait till you see this.
i really couldn't believe my eyes.
things he cut:
1) Candle wick.
2) Skin off the asparagus.
3) Flight off an arrow.
4) A sheet of steel.

it's worth the watch, so watch it.

meaning

2009-04-23T20:56:00.003+08:00

i'd like to blame the world on all my problems now,
because i find little meaning in life.
consumed in all this unfairness,
pursuing empty fates with a blindfold of happiness.
if i stayed awake for all the days and nights i lived,
i'd call it a lifetime, never beginning a new day or a new year,
never marking the start of something fresh on my organiser,
because i never need to forget that life is this shit here.
call it life if you want,
but every sane moment is going to slip far away,
when it just cycles around your worst nightmares,
piercing you in the same darn spot you'd cry blood to stop.
if life could screw up twice,
shit should come back up.

it's 11:20 and i'm still here.

2009-04-22T23:17:00.001+08:00

it's 11:20 and i'm still here.
why?
because i have work to do.
why?
because i didn't have time to do work just now.
why?
because i was busy doing SYF rehersals.
and i have practise everyday till saturday, a day's break, practise on monday and SYF on tuesday.

i hope it pays off.

i'm really tired, but these three words won't show you how i feel unless you find yourself sleepy during the morning and having that same feeling last with you till now.

OMG ECONS TEST.
OMG GP ESSAY.

just when will you fall into my arms under the light-strewn sky?

free cream of ice.

2009-04-20T20:59:00.003+08:00

i'm sick as sick can get.
like sick...
and i still went to present at gongshan pri today with the help of my panadol flu max.
the kids were so cute.
they walked past us and would even greet us. XD
when i went on stage, they were like "good morning mr......" (cuz i haven't introduced myself)

yesterday, i studied at my friend's place.
used up a tissue box, and a few packets of tissue.

today, i went to the polyclinic after the presentation.
surprisingly, it was faster than the private clinics if i go at the right times.
so i was given three types of medicine, two which induce drowsiness.
and i won't be going sch tomorrow too.

i'll be stuck at home studying for the econs and maths timed assignments this week.

i got my ps3 back today.
still dead.
at least i got over the (game) addiction.

let the stars be our witnesses,
to our silent confessions.
let our actions justify,
just how much we could've said.
let our hugs show
how tight we wanna hold on,
because i will never let go,
because i found something more to this life of mine.

cold shmold.

2009-04-18T21:47:00.004+08:00

i have a cold.
blocked nose, sore throat, sneezing...all that shit.
and i hate the feeling.

i'm blogging because my night is boring, and still will be until i sleep.

congrats to me because my PS3 is officially dead.
i'll have to bury it in my fishtank? or somewhere nice.
dad's getting a new one i guess, they sell it for 530 at orchard.
gonna have to recover the hard disk though.

harman/kardon speakers are still love, they complete me.

i feel like walking to the carpark to watch the sun rise tomorrow morning with coffee in my hand, haven't done it in awhile.

i wanna light up a candle tonight too,
play with fire. :D

and the only accomplishment today was you.

spill your guts in 8mm.

2009-04-16T22:01:00.002+08:00

this is a video of the coolest modern samurai of our age.
if you thought the pen was mightier than the sword, you haven't seen the samurai sword yet!

things he cut:
1) freaking small mushroom.
2) long bean.
3) BB gun airsoft bullet.
4) an iron pipe.
5) himself. (joking)

"such holidays in the sun don't come without sacrifices"

For relief of acute diarrhoea

2009-04-15T22:52:00.002+08:00

i've been having an upset stomach for three days now, and i lost 6kg in 3 weeks.
i seriously don't know what's wrong with me, gonna see a doc soon.

maybe it's stress?

or maybe it's after the cold milk i had...ugh...

It's all about trust.

2009-04-14T17:57:00.002+08:00

"she drove me to daytime television" by Funeral for a Friend.

good stuff, good day.

unbelievable bullshit.

2009-04-13T19:56:00.003+08:00

As you can see, i changed my blogskin, and i took away the tagboard.
so if you wanna leave a comment, feel free to do so below the posts.

i can't believe i'm doing my homework for wednesday when it's a monday.
i guess it's about time i did...

i'm extremely, downright, undoubtedly confused.
something's going on and i can sense it, i just can't put my finger to it.
that's the whole point isn't it?
purely a guessing game.
a very very risky game indeed.

i watched a bit of america's funniest animals, and i say it sucks to the core.
their jokes...wait, ATTEMPTS to say something funny wasn't even worth air time.
seriously, how do they survive?

and i like you for who you really are,
but when you're not you,
i feel uneasy,
i feel suffocated,
i don't feel you.

i was listening to Funeral for a Friend, and i have to say that they're great!
only their "casually dressed and deep in conversation" album though.

yet and again, i make it clear.
i make my intentions ever so true,
that this is who i really am,
not who i could be.
what for do i lie when i know that being truthful,
i feel more at ease.

sports heats are tomorrow, i hope our class makes it and i don't fall down. XD

a hug never seemed so awkward.
i burned the signal fire to show,
none other than you,
where the path was along the yellow brick road,
where the tin man's heart bled from.

all this because it'd hurt if i lost a friend like you,
where no one could replace you.

Identity - where do i belong?

2009-04-12T22:02:00.003+08:00

Dear Dear,
Was i too sweet, too quick in conversations? Or have i shown you all i can be?
Because time waits for all man,
but opportunities for us may not.
Though my intentions are clear,
i am new to action,
arising to deception.
I know for one that if i persevere,
my intention will reach your perception,
to show my dedication for you,
and commit me to your memory.
So will i be your decision?
Or just another fading illusion?
Love,
Love.

PS: i love you more than my 80GB PS3, i love you like....a 160GB PS3....

sometimes, we hit hard times, but that doesn't mean it ends. it's the beggining of something new.

i love my harman/kardon speakers.

get well soon. :)

whatever.

2009-04-10T22:00:00.002+08:00

PS3 died.

it's been a good long year plus? since i had it. it came as a baby. it came as a gift from the heavens above. until it stopped working all of a sudden just when i loaded GTA4.

i'll miss you, until i get a new one.

somehow, i feel so bored tonight, like extremely bored, and with nothing much on tv and nothing to do, i've declared today to be the most un-good friday ever.

"because good guys die first."

stories that were never meant to be.

2009-04-05T21:35:00.001+08:00

i just finished all 25 episodes of Darker than Black today, really really good stuff.

i feel extremely tired these few days, must've been the lack of sleep and the boredom of routines.

jamming this weekend i hope, gonna play songs by anberlin.
somehow, it's tough these days to find the inspiration to do work.
syf on the 28th, gonna chiong after that.

are there no shadows where you are ?
i can see everything as day
problems that you try to hide away
pushing me aside
[[ you`re pushing me aside ]]

could the winter calm come twice ?
`cause your heart seems so cold tonight ?
thirst for substance somehow isn`t right
it`s killing me inside
[[ it's killing you inside ]]
you're killing me inside

i don`t wanna be where you are
i don`t wanna be here even now
i don`t wanna be by your side
if something isn`t right
if something isn`t right

this is our last goodnight
say what you will
say all that you can
words have no meaning
when i`ve seen where you`ve been

this is our last goodnight
say what you will
say all that you can
this is our last goodbye
this is where love ends

are you so naive to right and wrong ?
how could you watch innocence forgone ?
does what we`ve done ever really belong ?
it wasted me away
[[ I feel so wasted away ]]

god if you can hear me out alright
please take these feelings for her inside
my chest hurts when i breathe tonight
it`s wasting me away
[[ you`re wasting me away ]]
they`re wasting me away

i don`t wanna be where you are
i don`t wanna be here even now
i don`t wanna be by your side
something isn`t right
something isn`t right

this is our last
[[ this is my last ]]

this is our last goodnight
say what you will
say all that you can
words have no meaning
when i`ve seen where you`ve been

this our last goodnight
say what you will
say all that you can
this is our last goodbye
this is where love ends
[[ this is my last ]]

this is our last goodnight
say what you will
say all that you can
words have no meaning
when i`ve seen where you've been
[[ this is our last ]]

this is our last goodnight
say what you will
say all that you can
this is our last goodbye
this is where love ends

"Amsterdam" - Anberlin
after hearing this song, memories come flooding back and i don't wanna picture another situation like this. ironically, it's my favourite song now.

green shadows under the old oak tree.

2009-03-31T21:13:00.002+08:00

passed physics and chem so far.

and the day ended with me eating duck rice and not getting my hair cut. :(

flu.

sick.

why

am

i

typing

word

by

word

it's

so

irritating.

i miss the feeling of something nice and warm inside.
i think it's food.

the ashes in me.

2009-03-29T21:40:00.002+08:00

it has been a week of exams and since it's over, i should be focusing on the bigger prize now.

i went camping last night with my family, because of Earth Day.
lol, when my cousin came to visit, she told me she accidentally switched off her fish tank pump to save electricity. XD

laying back on my hammock,
with a beer in my hand,
i stared up towards the constellations,
to see my stars reflect onto the sand.
glimpses of light,
glimpses of night,
poured into the shifting tides.
i drank a bit to life,
as my mind resides
under the star strewn night.

it's nice how its like that every night when i go camping.
wish i could have taken a photo of the night scenery.

2009-03-25T00:59:00.002+08:00

hands down, pants out and salute to naudo for such a relaxed and cool way of playing.

sometimes, it's tough to cope, and before sadness should befall, friends are always right behind you.
don't falter, don't fret.
just (:

Haven't watch TV in a freaking week.

2009-03-23T22:26:00.002+08:00

I'ts been a week since i watched TV, and for blogging, it has been a long while.
The past week was full of madness and joy, mugging and returning home by 10-11.
It has also been more than a week since i ate dinner at home with my family, i miss them, and they miss me too.

Clarence, PY, Yee En, it has been damn fun hanging out with you all, talking, joking, poking fun at each other's mess.
I wouldn't want it any other way.

Tomorrow, i am going to die.
Because i have yet to finish Chem, and i think i'll probably stay up till 12 to finish.
Can't wait for more marathons on friday, going out, chilling out and just being ourselves.

I'm getting used to that sleep deprivation feeling, because i have so much to do, and so little time to spare.

Life's better at this pace.

with guitar strings on top.

2009-03-15T19:38:00.002+08:00

YAY.
i'm still so happy we got what we wanted. XD
so much hardwork, has shown its fruits!

haha, i'm standing right in the middle for this one, was lazy to go behind. XD

i still can't believe that i put eyeliner for this one.
haha, it was before the concert, we were all a bit crazy and yea...ended up with that emo look.
haha, this is yee en, my emo-shit buddy, we always feel like shitting at the same time and that day we also put eyeliner.

LOL.

thanks again pei ying for the fantastic photos, didn't know what to do without you and your SLR.

well, i bought 4 games within 2 weeks.
1) Little Big Planet
2) Resident Evil 5
3) Street Fighter 4
4) Tom Clancy: Hawx

i know the sleepover will be great tomorrow. :D

champagne for my real friends.

2009-03-14T04:46:00.002+08:00

i'm trying to type real quietly, just finished watching push and there are two people waiting in my house for the first bus home.

competition was a success.
2nd, AGAIN for 3 consecutive years now. XD

these few days have been the better days of my life, wouldn't want it to go away.

i better find something to do before i wake them up.

milo comes from somewhere.....

2009-03-13T00:26:00.002+08:00

prom.
these four letters have torn classes apart, and shown the true colours of many.
hence, i choose not to go.
i'd rather pay 65 bucks and go for a chalet with my guitar friends.
clarence is quite right, it's pretty senseless to pay so much just for one night of ballroom fun with half of the guys and girls seated nipping away at the cakes and deserts.
in the end, it's all materialistic.

yay, possible sleepover next monday at my place, with the guitar exco again. XD
it's gonna be so much fun!

tomorrow is a big day, and i just hope that by being lenient, it has paid off.
concert till late at night, will probably go out to do something (movie?pool?)

it's gonna be crazy.

I'm here to fill in the blanks.

2009-03-10T19:33:00.002+08:00

Had a sleepover at YeeEn's house last weekend, damn funny.
then we all slept at 4 plus, woke up at 5 plus, went for guitar and it was damn tiring.

I haven't blogged for sometime now, it's like i'm deleting draft after draft.

10 march today, TRJA is gonna perform at downtown east tonight, so yea, probably won't be able to sleep.

Recently, many things have been going on, and it's too much to sum it up in a phrase.

ok, this is gonna be short.

ASIAN KUNG FU GENERATION

2009-03-02T20:16:00.002+08:00

J-Rock YEAH.
haha, i really wanna do a J-rock song that's so kickass, it doesn't matter if you understand it or not.
I already have a list!
but we'll see how it goes.
at least one J-rock song in my life.

school's tiring, because i'm tired.
after all those late mornings, an early one really sucks.

"PEACE ON EARTH" organised by Terence Music corner
-A Collaborative Guitar Concert.

13March2009
7:30pm
The Republic Cultural Centre Theatre,
Republic Poly.

Free seating, 10bucks per ticket.

did i mention? the concert is right after our guitar competition.

I GOT 4 TICKETS TO SELL!!!!!

peace out

over and over again (i wanna do it again)

2009-03-01T11:33:00.002+08:00

I met fiona at 6 plus, then we went to Eastpoint to get Tim's b'day stuff.
stuff we bought.
1) carrots
2) a bottle of wine
3) a cake
4) a pack of stuff.

haha, so we surprised tim at his house.
his house is as messy as ever, and it was an eye opener for fiona.
lol!
so we went to the new foodcourt at Simei mrt.
when we got back, we drank some red wine, and played LEFT 4 DEAD.
hahahaha, so after the cake was cut and stuff......

fiona: hey, how do you spell (left 4 dead) ?
tim and i : oh....urm....l..a..u..g..h..e..d..4 dead.
fiona: types it into the phone and sends the message to Lim
tim and i : (ends up laughing like shit and getting pinched by fiona.)

haha, it was seriously another brown-cow-white-cow-milk-or-meat joke! XD
lol, sorry fiona, it was just too funny.

so around 10, fiona had to go back otherwise she wouldn't reach the west in time.
i took a bus back.

got home, told heidi about the laughed 4 dead and slept.

The new form of fire-fighting, my drippy nose.

2009-02-25T22:38:00.002+08:00

my nose is constantly dripping.
it's more or less confirmed that i'm not going to school tomorrow, but heck, i'm gonna finish studying for econs tonight.

SADED :(

yes, yes you are, undoubtedly.

2009-02-25T21:30:00.002+08:00

seems like everyone is pissed at something this week.
i mean everyone.
haha, i hate this week.
i'm supposed to study for econs now (more like prepare the answers), but i can't ditch my readers yo.

okay, i'm contemplating whether to go school tomorrow, because i have a flu.
a really bad flu.
so far, i used up one tissue box.
but if i skip the econs test tomorrow, i'll have to drag it all the way to another day. :(

i'm listening to Postbox now, thanks to Ethel for the introduction.
they're not bad, and really don't sound local but they're good.
haha, if postbox was sponsored by toastbox, it would be so weird. (just a thought)

it's so warm tonight, but i'm still sneezing!

i know that things are going to look better soon, because i have friends. (:

omg, econs ugh...

make love in the pouring rain.

2009-02-23T21:13:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIONA SALIM.
Now in life, you're able to smoke, drink and drive.
i don't think i'll smoke, so you can just buy alcohol and drive me around. XD
JOKING!
hahaha, four years of friendship ain't a joke, it's damn hilarious because of all the fun we had.
It's interesting what we've all been through to be who we still are today, if not better.
On this age of 18, i wish you a fruitful and happy life ahead, and i wish that the BC will last through a lifetime. :)
SURPRISE x 5 = a surprised fiona.

I'm still hyped over the success of soul night, and i'm happy that many people came up to me and said that we've done a good job.

Today, i wrote a women's rights essay for the GP timed assignment, really awkward because i have not written anything about gender equality issues for quite awhile now.

Tomorrow's gonna be good, maths tuition at night till 9:30.

Tomorrow's gonna be good, killer PE lessons by TPJC's ex-commando.

I want another this week please.

2009-02-22T20:53:00.002+08:00

This week has been a great week because i don't want it to end.
soul night, NUS chancellor challenge shield, fiona's birthday...
it's all so relaxing yet it reminds me of the weeks and tests to come.
less than 2 weeks to my exams and i have yet to start revising....
i will start tomorrow, because i can't picture myself attaining entry to NUS business school yet. :(
i really wanna go there....very badly.

yesterday, we managed to surprise fiona 4 times, really funny.
after the cake, tim had chocolate all over his pants, looked like he shit himself.
had dinner nearby at some taiwanese eatery, love the beef noodles there. :D
watched get smart when we went back to fiona's place, and everyone ate whip cream.
was about 12 when i got home, really tired.

today wasn't so bad either, had tuition and lots of free time.
until i found out there's econs homework.

sad.

now i need to do econs.

very sad indeed.

whatever doesn't kill you, isn't a very good weapon to begin with.

2009-02-19T23:01:00.002+08:00

where do i start....okay, it's 11pm. i am HUNGRY because i ate a bit just now in the canteen.

SOUL NIGHT was so awesome, i wished the moment could've lasted.
All the weeks of hard work, and spending a fortune at the studios really paid off.
Our band is Resonance, and here's the crew:
Livert - Drummer
John - Lead guitarist
Nicholas - Bassist
Clarence - Vocalist
Me - Rhythm guitarist / Vocalist

Songs we played tonight:
1) Chasing Cars (super fast last chorus)
2) Sugar We're Going Down
3) Love Makes The World Go Round (PPG)

Thanks to everyone who made this possible tonight.

As usual, i've been really busy with everything, but i'm getting the hang of it.
Okay, i really need to sleep.

never take people for granted.

dear oh dear,

2009-02-16T21:36:00.002+08:00

dear oh dear, what will this sore throat make of me.
out of all the friggin weeks, i had to have a sore throat today, and hopefully, thankfully, it will resolve before thursday.
I'm not going to school tomorrow, feeling ill, and i know what they say about perseverence, but with PE tomorrow, don't think so.
Seriously, tuesdays are the worst.
Our PE teacher takes so much out of us that soon, we'll all be sleeping in the subsequent lessons,
and we begin the questioning the effectiveness of the school's timetable.

i love incubus, and i wanna get all their albums but i got no money. :(

love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt.

2009-02-15T20:19:00.002+08:00

jamming was good, if we played like this on the day itself, we'll rock.

i got work, and i dread going to school tomorrow.

Back to reality, away from fantasy.

2009-02-15T11:09:00.002+08:00

13th FEB:
Really happy day, because after i reached home, i went out with my parents to watch Valkyrie at 11 plus. The show was really nice, but sad, and kinda dumb. After the movie, went with parents to sempang bedok at 2am to eat prata. Slept at 3am.

14th FEB:
Woke up at like 9, did NOTHING till 2, then went to meet ethel. Joel and Cheryl didn't go!!!
initially, wanted we wanted to watch a movie, but there's just too many people (DUH). So, we ended up at the arcade, went to Ben and Jerry's and watched a few bands perform there, and walked around till 6. XD
Slept at 9 because i was really tired.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S!!

15th FEB:
I'm home alone, because my family has gone to the bird park. I have jamming at 4, but now i'm doing my work at home. really sad.

INCUBUS ROCKS!!! WHEN ARE THEY COMING TO SINGAPORE???!!! I WANNA GO!!!!!
PS: heard the FOB concert wasn't that great, disappointed.

it is wonder that keeps the stars apart....

2009-02-13T20:00:00.003+08:00

yesterday was the most lousy worst, useless day of my life.
like i said in the previous post, i will persevere, and because god has heard my cries for help, today was the happiest day so far, for this year.

I wanna thank the world for being so unfair,
for making my life so miserable yet so happy.
If the world was fair,
we'd be bored to death,
by the stoic notions of life.
But the world crushes me,
so that when i am free,
I appreciate my freedom
and the people who are free.

many good things happened to me today, and i feel like i've earned it.
i love my life now, and i will cherish it,

rosa multiflora.

If i had my ways....oh, you'll see....

2009-02-13T00:52:00.003+08:00

SCHOOL
-a compulsory, imperfect, widely-divided system that demands a holistic education for every student.

I am sick, really sick.
Sore throat, headaches, sleep deprivation, on and off fevers.
it's tough, and my remedy is a well earned break from all this mess.
sometimes, i feel high, i feel periods where time really slows down in front of my eyes.
i see blur images on my notes at times and it goes on and off.
but i still have to go on like this, and persevere.
because i want to look back and laugh at all the things i've accomplish,
laugh at all the hard times,
have a good laugh just to say that all this is over.
until the time is ripe, my priorities are set straight and ready to be done.
i must say that i have been grumpy these few days.
it's tough when a thousand things are going on concurrently in my mind, every thought is a million worries.
and so i say that i will go on, until i am at my physical limits.

and so the blurry moon fell over her shoulder,
illuminating that last tear drop down her neck,
as i peered over her shoulder,
the sun rose from behind,
but the grass has died.
if only it had been sooner,
the world would be a better place,
regret is only a variable.

it's 1:08 now and i'm practising my guitar.
i'm in love with this song, that revolves around my life in every way, everyday, and if i may, i would fall in love all over again.

one for you,
and one for a dream to fulfill,
that makes duo.

just you, me and a picture of a picture.

2009-02-09T21:33:00.002+08:00

I am mugging through loads of work, but yet i still have time to blog, it's such a miracle really.
Soul Night rehersals tomorrow, only looking forward to that and nothing else really.

I found a girl that sat in a field of green,
she wanted to watch the grass grow.
despite the unforgiving sun and rain,
she forged on, watching the grass grow tall and green.
i never asked why, because i knew the answer.
but i always asked why i couldn't point her the answer.
and so i avoided that question in my head, leaving her to her fate.
every night, i peered out the window, watching the stars above her head.
i could make out the dark figure amidst the tall lines,
that represented the constellations.
one night, i couldn't see the figure anymore.
only to find that she was outside my house.
she cried and said she found the answer,
weeping tears down her face,
she finally knew what made the grass greener on the other side,
that when one is suffering badly,
any alternative will always look like a brighter solution.
and with this, she never sat there again,
because she found the real alternative.

Love Makes The World Go Round - The PowerPuffGirls

2009-02-08T21:58:00.002+08:00

i love that song, and i better love it.
you'll know why soon enough.
but it's really a nice song.

have been jamming these past few days, and hence, tonight is homework night.
jamming is good, and real original and funny.
haha, and it's fun to do really stupid things like sing like an idiot.

i can do something cool with two lighters and some tape.

i need to sleep.

sugar, we're going down.

2009-02-05T00:37:00.003+08:00

As the title explains, today wasn't a really good day for me.
i shall not elaborate on the details.
basically, it's tough, doing your friend's work, when he/she/it should be doing the work instead.

AND

because of his/her/its mistakes, everyone suffers.

F-it.

it's 12:39, and why am i not sleeping?
because i drank a can of red bull after i came home from tuition, and went to livert's place for a pre-jamming session jamming.
it went well, very well.

I just bought Incubus cd, it was on discount.
and i really really like the song "Diamonds and Coals"

CCA day today, lotsa J1s in guitar this year, but we're definitely narrowing it down to a smaller number like 30-40?

ok, it's 12:52, and i really should be sleeping.

"give me a sign to show why i'm not blind"

Polly-Olly-Angle is greater than a Tri-angle.

2009-02-02T22:08:00.002+08:00

Just got off the phone with a friend who says that i have a lot of free time in JC. XD
ok, i will commit to my work this year, in hope of a better results.

J1s came in this year, recognise some of them, but other than that, they look like how most of us looked when we saw the school for the first time, with J2 students walking around checking at our every move or how we look like.

i feel like i lack something in life, but honestly, i really can't put my finger to any word i think of.
maybe i just lack focus?

things due this week that i've not done.
1) maths assignments.
2) econs revision (promised someone)
3) refining of combo band rehersals.

anyway, Ying Ying (yes, sec4 classmate) just message me to say that she found 4 abandoned kittens, and is looking for a home for any of them if possible.
i wanna keep cats because they bury their own shit, and purr and look at people.
BUT
my parents won't let me keep them (DUH) because my house is small (DUH).

I'm listening to R&B now, "I'm so into you" by Tamia.
This song really reminded me of someone so dear when i was still in sec2.
It was a song that always made me feel comfortable, somewhere i could dig my feelings into.
it's all but a faded part of memory shards in my head now.

i feel so low on self-esteem in everything i do, never once held my head high because i'm afraid of falling too far.
but i'll never give up hope when i know it's there for me if i want it.
it'll be tough to escape the margin.

there's another day tomorrow, and another day will never be the same. will it?